Winston Churchill Quotes
Famous Winston Churchill Quotes & Funny Churchill Quotes
Winston Churchill was one of the strongest leaders during a time that Great Britain needed him the most. As Prime Minister during World War II, Churchill led his country through trying times such as the air raids in London. Churchill is highly known for his speeches and Winston Churchill quotes are still in use today. Many of his speeches have included what are now considered famous Winston Churchill quotes. After the war, his political career saw many ups and downs but he always had something to say. In fact, a lot of his speeches contained many funny Churchill quotes. Here are some of the more notable Winston Churchill quotes.
"Although always prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it should be postponed."
"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it"
"I only believe in statistics that I doctored myself."
"A love for tradition has never weakened a nation, indeed it has strengthened nations in their hour of peril."
"Where my reason, imagination or interest were not engaged, I would not or I could not learn."
"The price of greatness is responsibility."
"Some see private enterprise as a predatory target to be shot, others as a cow to be milked, but few are those who see it as a sturdy horse pulling the wagon."
"Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy, and the lash."
"Certainly the prolonged education indispensable to the progress of Society is not natural to mankind. It cuts against the grain. A boy would like to follow his father in pursuit of food or prey. He would like to be doing serviceable things so far as his utmost strength allowed. He would like to be earning wages however small to help to keep up the home. He would like to have some leisure of his own to use or misuse as he pleased. He would ask little more than the right to work or starve. And then perhaps in the evenings a real love of learning would come to those who are worthy – and why try to stuff in those who are not? – and knowledge and thought would open the ‘magic casements’ of the mind."
"Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm."
"All this contains much that is obviously true, and much that is relevant; unfortunately, what is obviously true is not relevant, and what is relevant is not obviously true."
"An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last."
Lady Nancy Astor: "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea."
Churchill: "Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it."
"We contend that for a nation to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle."
"If you're not a liberal when you're 25, you have no heart. If you're not a conservative by the time you're 35, you have no brain."
"Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb."
"Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result."
"Never give in, never give in, never; never; never; never - in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense"
Churchill: "Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?" Socialite: "My goodness, Mr. Churchill... Well, I suppose... we would have to discuss terms, of course... "
Churchill: "Would you sleep with me for five pounds?"
Socialite: "Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?!" Churchill: "Madam, we've already established that. Now we are haggling about the price."
"What is the use of living, if it be not to strive for noble causes and to make this muddled world a better place for those who will live in it after we are gone? How else can we put ourselves in harmonious relation with the great verities and consolations of the infinite and the eternal? And I avow my faith that we are marching towards better days. Humanity will not be cast down. We are going on swinging bravely forward along the grand high road and already behind the distant mountains is the promise of the sun."
"There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the worst of it is that half of them are true."
"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen."
"A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject."
Bessie Braddock: "Sir, you are drunk."
Churchill: "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."
A young man after seeing Churchill leave the bathroom without washing his hands: "At Eton they taught us to wash our hands after using the toilet." Churchill: "At Harrow they taught us not to piss on our hands."
"The truth is incontrovertible. Panic may resent it, ignorance may deride it, malice may distort it, but there it is."
"Once in a while you will stumble upon the truth but most of us manage to pick ourselves up and hurry along as if nothing had happened."
"It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required."
"I have always felt that a politician is to be judged by the animosities he excites among his opponents."
"I remember when I was a child, being taken to the celebrated Barnum's Circus, which contained an exhibition of freaks and monstrosities, but the exhibit on the program which I most desired to see was the one described as ‘The Boneless Wonder’. My parents judged that the spectacle would be too demoralizing and revolting for my youthful eye and I have waited fifty years, to see The Boneless Wonder sitting on the Treasury Bench."
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
"The era of procrastination, of half-measures, of soothing and baffling expedients, of delays, is coming to a close. In its place we are entering a period of consequences."
"It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried."
"I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks."
"You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life."
"In attack most daring, in defense most cunning, in endurance most steadfast, they performed a feat of arms which will be remembered and recounted as long as the virtues of courage and resolution have power to move the hearts of men."
"It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time."
"Never, never, never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. The statesman who yields to war fever must realise that once the signal is given, he is no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events."
"Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential"
"One ought never to turn one's back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger. But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half."
"You can always count on Americans to do the right thing—after they’ve tried everything else."
"Withhold no sacrifice, begrudge no toil, seek no sordid gain, fear no foe, all will be well."
"A medal glitters, but it also casts a shadow."
"Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught."
"If this is a blessing, it is certainly very well disguised."
"When you are winning a war almost everything that happens can be claimed to be right and wise."
"To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day."
"One may dislike Hitler's system and yet admire his patriotic achievement. If our country were defeated, I hope we should find a champion as indomitable to restore our courage and lead us back to our place among the nations."
"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter."
"It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. Bartlett's Familiar Quotations is an admirable work, and I studied it intently. The quotations when engraved upon the memory give you good thoughts. They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more."
Winston Churchill quotes are probably some of the funniest quotes you can find. He has a sarcastic wit that he employs with precision. Some of the best funny Winston Churchill quotes came about from his dealings with his fellow British politicians. However, most of the famous Winston Chruchill quotes come from his time as Prime Minister during World War II. This list is just a sampling but you can always search for more Winston Chruchill quotes.