« Quotes From He’s Just Not That Into You
Quotes From Step Brothers
“I’ll kill you, Leonard Nimoy!”
“Stay golden, Ponyboy.”
“Boats and hoes!”
“I traveled 500 miles to give you my seed.”
“I teabagged your drum set!”
“I swear I’m so p____d off at my mom, as soon as she’s of age I’m putting her in a home.”
“For a second there, I thought you were a unicorn”.
“Your singing is like a mix of Jesus and Fergie!”
“I feel like a lightning bolt just struck the end of my p___s*.”
“You better not close your eyes, because as soon as you do, I’m gonna punch you square in the face!”
“Yeah, you would like that, wouldn’t you, f____t?!”
“What if I come out of the shower and she sees this young calf and starts to not like the old bull, and takes a look at my chest pubes, all the way down to my froball?”
“Barbara Walters, Oprah, your wife. You gotta f__k one, kill one, and marry one. Go!”
“Shut the f___ up, Dale!”
“He better not get in my face, or I’ll drop that motherf____r.”
“We’re here to f__k s__t up!”
“You don’t even look good when your singing”
“Okay, I’m gonna save it with this solo.”
“This is the one rule of the house. Don’t EVER touch my drumset. Don’t Touch It!”
“I like to have fresh fruit in the house and chocolate chips in my pancakes. Write it down so you don’t forget.”
“I didn’t want salmon. I said it 4 times! This wedding is bulls__t!”
Dale: “OK, name your favorite dinosaur?”
Brennan and Dale: “Philosoraptor.”
“For a minute there he had the strangest look in his eyes and I really thought he was gonna rape me, then he said, ‘Let’s get it on.’”
“Dad, are you f_____g kidding me? It’s shark week!”
“I’m gonna fill up a pillow case with bars of soap and beat the s__t out of you with it.”
“I’ve been called the songbird of my generation.”
“I’ve got them from the 70′s, 80′s, & 90′s. It’s like masturbating in a time machine.”
Brennan: “Alright. If you were a chick, whose the one guy you would sleep with?”
Brennan and Dale: “John Stamos.”
“Haha, that’s so funny. Last time I heard that joke I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur!”
“Alright everybody. Sleeping arrangement–Brennan, you’re going to be sharing a room with Dale. Just until the two of you get job and you move out.”
“Sticks and stones may brake my bones, but I’m gonna kick you repeatedly in the balls.”
“Brennan, I thought you were incredibly brave. And I mean that in strictly the most clinical and professional sense possible, with no emotional, intimate, sexual, or any other undertones that you could possibly infer.”
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